Santa Baby
by The Dictator
Summary: It feels like christmas. It's a BV the traditional romancy one shot kind complete


Disclaimer: I do not own the DBZ characters, I only own the plot.  
  
Santa Baby  
By The Dictator  
12/7/03 11:37 AM  
  
It was snowing in that world we all knew.  
Satan City was white with a silvery hue.  
Little children fast asleep on their beds.  
Visions of Santa swirled in their heads.  
It was only the eve of Christmas Eve.  
Still, excitement was not yet cleaved.  
Wonder and fear from girls and boys.  
Vegeta, not Santa, would give them their toys.  
  
Dr. Briefs smiles, seeing the world blanketed with snow from his bedroom window. His wife by his side, cozied up to him in a cute pink nightgown. It was Christmas Eve and it was time for him to go over to the mall to be a volunteer Santa. It was the Briefs family tradition, this year; they had an extra person. Vegeta, the cold hearted, obnoxious, tempered, stubborn, cruel Vegeta. His wife was to be Mrs. Claus; Bulma was to be an elf...with Vegeta. Dr. Briefs would be St. Nicolas himself. This year would be perfect like every year, it had to be. Dr. Briefs nodded with determination. In the kitchen, Bulma made the breakfast for the whole family. Her eyes were groggy and her mind still in dream state. Her hands worked by themselves, making breakfast enough for an army. Not minding the sounds of movement about the house, knowing it was her family...and Vegeta. Vegeta walks down stairs with a yawn, wearing blue boxers he bought some time ago. He sits at his seat and bangs on the table, his way of saying that he wanted food immediately. Bulma sighed and brushed her hand through her shoulder length hair. "The first course is already on the table Vegeta" Bulma mumbled. Her voice slightly melancholy, a little raw with sobbing. Sobbing which the whole house heard. She broke up with Yamcha again, days before Christmas. ~Hi Yamcha, mind if I come in?...Who's...Marron you Bitch! Yamcha, you are a freak, a freak~ Walks away from the role playing two. Marron dressed in a sexy red get-up with the boots and the hat. Yamcha dressed as Rudolf the Reindeer, nose and all. Bulma closed her eyes and tried to erase the sight of the harness and the whip to no avail. "Get over it woman, he was weak and boring" Said Vegeta through mouthfuls of food. "Shut up" Was Bulma's tired answer. "Everything was repetitive, the relationship was doomed from the start." "Shut up" equal to the tone before. "He will come here soon, holding roses and chocolates, he will beg for your forgiveness and you will cry-" "Shut up" She said, weaker now. "You will say 'I could never stay-" "Shut up" Weaker "Mad at you Yamcha" "Shut up" Weaker "You both will get back together and have a makeup fuck on Christmas Eve." "Shut the Fuck up Vegeta, You are such a dumbass, I hate you, you're gross and stupid and you don't know anything about this!" She says as she turns to look at him. Tears down her already tear stained cheek. "I'm almost done...Yamcha will come in...5...4...3...2..." The door bell rings and Vegeta laughs, his face smug and cruel. Bulma opens the door and there was Yamcha, on his knees with roses and chocolates. His faces sad, under his eyes were dark blotches and his hair was disheveled. He didn't have to say a thing, she grabbed him, his head was squeezed to her chest, she cried tears of joy and he dropped the gifts to hug her back. Vegeta almost choked while he was laughing, just like he said, almost anyway. Bulma's tears fell onto Yamcha's cheeks and when he stood up, his face was red from squeezing against her soft breasts and her tears made it look like he cried. Bulma smiled softly, her loving sweet smile then reached up. Yamcha looked nervous all of a sudden. Bulma's thumb gently wiped away a tear on his face, right under his eye. She gasped at what she saw. The dark blotches were nothing but makeup, non-water proof, smudged right off onto her fingers. Bulma screamed and pushed him hard out the door so he fell right on his ass. She picked up the roses and threw them at his startled face. She picked up the chocolates and shook them. "You can have these back tomorrow, ya jackass." She turned around and slammed the door. Vegeta grinned at her, the grin she would just love to smack off. She shook her head and walked upstairs passed her parents, "take some of Vegeta's food." She went to her room and that door slammed too. She fell asleep and when she woke up, she heard the sound of Vegeta cursing at Yamcha. "Go Away damnit, She doesn't want to see you. Go now you Shit head, or I'll blast you out of the world." The door slammed and then Bulma fell asleep again. Later she woke up again, around noon and heard Vegeta yelling at her dad. "This is Tradition Vegeta...You have to!" "No, I'm not wasting my time with this crap" "Let me remind you of whose house you're living under" "I don't give a shit" "Don't make me stoop to the secret" "Damn it...Fine you old man..."  
  
Bulma went down stairs after there was a long time of silence. Her stomach growled and she made herself some soup. She hadn't even eaten any breakfast yet. She wondered why the house was so silent; she just slowly slurped her soup and giggled at her own mannerism. Outside her large French window, she saw the families Christmas tree. It was there even before the house was built, now decorated every Christmas without chopping it down, It was named Elusa, and it would need a rented chopper to place the star on the top. This year, Vegeta just flew up there. Oh My God! Christmas...The Mall...Santa! She thought then rushed up stairs. She grabbed a green suit that lay on her chair and wrestled it on. She put the pointy ears on under the red and white-stripped cap; it matched her red and white-stripped stockings and gloves. Bulma threw a capsule outside her bedroom window and jumped right into it. She put it on auto control, sending it to Satan City mall. She rushed her makeup a little, but it was semi perfect. She ran in the mall's back door and saw her dad leaving, holding his stomach and his wife helping him to a hover car. "Mom, Dad" She called to them as she jumped out of her own. "Your dad doesn't feel to good Bulma...We're heading home." "But" "Don't worry, we have a replacement, you should go in still, The C.C. needs good PR." Bulma nodded and kissed her parents, wishing her dad good health. Inside she ran to Santa's side and saw he had some kid sitting on his lap. Bulma took the place of the elf and took pictures of Santa and the kids. She gasped at her third picture, Santa was not Santa...Santa was Vegeta. She fell to the ground laughing and everyone looked at her in surprise, all but Santa, whose face was red with anger. Afterward, at around seven in the evening, it was time for Bulma's mom to sing, Bulma's mom wasn't there, instead she sent a red dress that trained passed her feet. Black pumps and a black boa. Bulma didn't mind singing; she wasn't bad, good enough for public singing once in a while. Bulma French twisted her hair and put red and black feathers there, The dress was slipped on easily before hand. There was a slit up to her thigh and the neck stooped down far to show some cleavage. She wrapped the boa around her neck and put on her heels. She quickly changed her makeup, a dark red lipstick with slight blush and smoky smudged eyes with long lashes, seductively perfect. She went on stage where there was a black piano; Vegeta who came out of no where boosted her up! The stage was facing Santa's thrown and he went back to it, watching her after he sat. His eyes following the curves of her body, the red of her lips, her exposed leg. He licked his lips under the white beard. The Piano began playing and she smiled, knowing exactly what to do.  
  
"Santa Baby, Stick a table under the tree, for me I've been and awful good girl Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight"  
  
She pointed at Vegeta and slid on the piano top. The words slipped from her lips, sweet and perfect, she slipped off the piano and walked around the stage singing, her eyes always on Vegeta.  
  
"Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring And I don't mean on the phone Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight...So hurry down the chimney toniiiiight!" She walked off the stage to Vegeta and sat on his lap and whisper sang into his ear. "Tonight" She walked back to the stage "Down the chimney toooooooooNiiiiiiiiight!" Everyone applauded and hooted, some people elbowed Vegeta and laughed. He just sat there wondering about what she said...Was there a message in that song?  
  
Everything was done, Bulma drove home, and Vegeta flew, too lazy to shrug off the Santa suit, though he did take the pillow out and snatched off the beard. Bulma came in last; the house was dark and quiet. The clicks of her heels were the only sounds that echoed through the big house. She went into her dark room and closed the door, she switched on the light but the power was probably out. She was too lazy to go back down stairs to turn on the generator. A shadow caught her eye. It wasn't moving much and it was by her bed. There was spiky hair and she knew it was Vegeta's. She looked at the source of the shadow, outside her French windows was the standing figure, looking up at the full moon. Outside was a little cold, snow was falling on him and he had the moon. His eyes were closed and the moon was caressing his face. He sensed the woman's presence but the moon held him in a stronger spell. Though without his tale, he couldn't change. He felt her hand on his shoulder, her fingers warming him and his eyes open, expecting to see the bright moon, he was looking at her glowing face. Then her soft breasts, slightly goosebumped. Then her hips and her legs and then back to her lips. Those red lips like sweet cherries. He embraced her and felt her shiver, thinking that it was from the cold. He powered up and went inside, carrying her in his arms; she was lighter than a feather. He set her on the bed and looked at her body in the moons light. Silvery white, long and beautiful, looking up at him with blue eyes that glowed with the help of the moon. He bent to kiss her lips, softly, savoring, suddenly he was pulled in deeper, warm hands touched his cold neck and pushed him in. He kissed her hard and climbed on the bed. Bulma's face lusty and a little sad. Vegeta used a lot of his energy and collapsed on top of her. None of them removed all their clothing; there was no time in that bucolic heat of passion. There they slept, Christmas was an hour away, and they opened their gifts early, Naughty naughty.  
  
And in the night, riding his "sleigh"  
"Santa Claus" wasn't kept at bay  
Moving in the sheets was the girl and himself  
Cheating on Mrs. Claus with Bulma the elf  
  
(A/N: What did you guys think? I'm very proud at finishing the story for one, and also for the clever little poem. Please Read and Review, Flames are fine...It'll warm me right up in this cold weather. Bye! ~Waves~ 12/7/03 3:00 PM) 


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